A Remembrance

Today would have been my Daddy's 50th birthday. I cannot help but wonder how different things would be today if he were here. How we would celebrate, where we would be,.... It's been almost 10 years now since he died. Amazing how quickly the time goes by. Sometimes it seems like it's been so long since those days when we were all together and then sometimes I feel like those days are distant memories. I do miss him so much. He was such a good daddy, and I look up to the example that he set for us kids as a man who loved the Lord and served Him in any way he could.
So what are the thoughts that go through my mind on days like this? Well, they do tend to cover a wide range of emotions. I feel sadness because I miss him so much. It hurts that he is not here now to see where we've all ended up. I feel very sad that he never knew the new members of our family, Jordan and Julia, and that they never knew him. The tears come to my eyes when I think of how happy he would be to know Jordan and what a wonderful man God gave me for a husband. But my heart is filled with wonder when I think of God's sovereignty in our lives. How God knew that my Daddy would get cancer shortly before his 40th birthday, but that we would not know it was coming. How God knew exactly when my Daddy would die, and we would think that it happened so suddenly. How God already knows everything that will happen in our lives and He has planned it out for His glory. And then I feel so thankful...the kind of thankfulness that cannot even be adequately expressed...when I think of God's goodness, His faithfulness, and His grace in our lives. How He provided for our family. How He knit my family together so our relationships with one another are so tight and loving. How He directed in each of our lives. How He showed us His love so unmistakeably that we could not but cling to Him. How not one of us has rejected Him, but we are all faithfully serving God in the capacities in which God has placed us. Would I have even noticed how good God is if He had never brought a trial into my life? Would I have learned what it is to pray because you simply have no idea what else to do? Would I have spent the time learning from the Scriptures about God's role as a Father in the lives of His people? Probably, I would have learned these things eventually; but God knew that I needed to learn them at an early age for some reason. I believe He knows what I need and that His will cannot lead me through something in which His grace cannot sustain me.

"As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the LORD is tried: he is a buckler to all them that trust in him.

"For who is God, save the LORD? and who is a rock, save our God?

"God is my strength and power: and he maketh my way perfect."

II Samuel 22:31-33